Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Zombies and Helicopters

Now and then we come across combinations in life that achieve a kind of perfection. Two things that come together a form a beautiful poetry greater than the sum of their parts. Yin and yang. Peanut butter and jelly. Hall and Oates. Assault and battery.

Zombies and helicopters.

If the zombie holocaust happens (and rest assured, it will), two things will happen.

1.) You Will Escape Zombies In A Helicopter

It's a scientific fact that helicopters are the most efficient vehicle for zombie evasion.

Exhibit A: Dawn of the Dead. Mankind's best guide for surviving zombies. Here, our heroes leave a shopping mall via chopper in the nick of time.

Exhibit B: Nightmare City. Oh shit! Another last minute escape. Bonus points for escaping off the top of a rollercoaster.

Exhibit C: Planet Terror. Military helicopters provide extra safety. At the very least, have some sort of soldiers or law enforcement individual in your crew.

Exhibit D: 28 Weeks Later. Being inside in the helicopter is imperative for a successful escape. Hanging off the landing skids... not so much.

2.) You Will Kill Zombies With The Helicopter's Blades

In addition to being the best means of escape, helicopters also double as an efficient zombie murdering tool.

Exhibit A: Dawn of the Dead. A zombie walks right into the blades.

Okay, to be fair, this was really more of an accident. But a valuable lesson is learned.

Exhibit B: Planet Terror. A more direct application of the helicopter's blades.

Yeah, I guess that's pretty cool. Except...

Exhibit C: 28 Weeks Later...this is way more fucking awesome! YEAH! Suck it, Robert Rodriguez.

I hope this was informative.