A mildly obnoxious Vietnam vet and his terrible, horrible, nagging harpy bitch of a wife are driving through the middle of nowhere when they accidentally hit a kid. Thing is, the kid had already had his throat slit. The couple head in to town to see if they can alert the authorities, but the town seems empty. This is, logically, because all of the town's adults have been killed off by an extremist religious sect of children who worship a corn deity.
Although none of them were probably actually good movies, I had a certain fondness for the Children of the Corn series when I was a teenager. I dunno, just one of those things I guess. Some people had their Bob Dylan phase, I had a Children of the Corn phase. I didn't even realize that a remake existed until we saw it on the new release wall at the video store. I figured it couldn't be anything but terrible, but I also couldn't resist the allure of a new CotC movie.
The remake is a bad movie, but I'm happy to report that as far as bad horror movies go, it's somewhat fun. It's not incompetent or boring like many DTV horror movies, just stupid and corny. It brought me to the verge of entertainment on several occasions. It has one really funny (though woefully underused) idea, which is that the main character is a vet and goes all Rambo on the kids. I was hoping for a wholesale child bloodbath. We're not that lucky, but it is fun seeing the guy kick the shit out of and kill at least a handful of the kids.
Showing posts with label Stephen King Adaptation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stephen King Adaptation. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Cujo
Cujo, a big ol' lovable St. Bernard, gets bitten by some rabid bats and goes apeshit, killing everyone he comes across. A mother and her young son become trapped in their broke down car in the driveway at Cujo's owner's house, slowly dying of dehydration and unable to open with door without Cujo pouncing.
I read Stephen King's Cujo many years ago. It is a great idea for a horror story, seemingly tailor-made for me as I am fucking terrified of big dogs. Problem is, it's a great idea for a short story more so than a novel. The movie runs into the same problems as the book. Its premise can't sustain its length, so it opts to fly off into useless, endless subplots about extramarital affairs, cereal commercials and divine retribution. I expected they might excise much of this material in the adaptation, but no such luck. Hell, the mom and the boy don't even get trapped by Cujo until halfway into the film.
The parts of the novel Cujo that worked were mostly internal/psychological. It was about what was going through the woman's head as she and her son were becoming more desperate, and what she was willing to do to save his life. That doesn't come across as strongly on film, and the more visceral elements don't pan out. The car, instead of feeling intensely claustrophobic, becomes a limiting and uninteresting location. Cujo's attacks are repetitive and generate precious little suspense. To cap it off, it swaps out the book's memorably bleak ending for a generic, underwhelming happy conclusion.
I should be more receptive to this film than most audiences, and it left me bored and unperturbed.
I read Stephen King's Cujo many years ago. It is a great idea for a horror story, seemingly tailor-made for me as I am fucking terrified of big dogs. Problem is, it's a great idea for a short story more so than a novel. The movie runs into the same problems as the book. Its premise can't sustain its length, so it opts to fly off into useless, endless subplots about extramarital affairs, cereal commercials and divine retribution. I expected they might excise much of this material in the adaptation, but no such luck. Hell, the mom and the boy don't even get trapped by Cujo until halfway into the film.
The parts of the novel Cujo that worked were mostly internal/psychological. It was about what was going through the woman's head as she and her son were becoming more desperate, and what she was willing to do to save his life. That doesn't come across as strongly on film, and the more visceral elements don't pan out. The car, instead of feeling intensely claustrophobic, becomes a limiting and uninteresting location. Cujo's attacks are repetitive and generate precious little suspense. To cap it off, it swaps out the book's memorably bleak ending for a generic, underwhelming happy conclusion.
I should be more receptive to this film than most audiences, and it left me bored and unperturbed.
Monday, October 5, 2009
The Lawnmower Man
A frustrated scientist (Pierce Brosnan) developing a virtual reality program that somehow boosts intelligence begins using his retarded lawnmower man Jobe (Jeff Fahey) as a guinea pig. Things seem to be going great at first, as Jobe becomes somehow non-retarded and normal and attractive to women, but surprise surprise things go horribly wrong as Jobe develops frightening powers, becoming almost god-like, eventually going insane and trying to take over the world.
The Lawnmower Man is an unbelievably terrible movie that bears no resemblance to the not very good Stephen King short story it takes it's name from. Apparently the filmmakers took a pre-existing screenplay they had, and bought the rights to King's story so they could slap his name on their movie. King sued and had his name removed from the film. Awesome.
This film came out in 1992, and I must say, its antiquated misconceptions about the internet and its Sega Genesis quality CGI effects are rather hilarious when viewed today. Were people really falling for this shit a mere 17 years ago? We must have been a bunch of fucking savages back then.
I've never been a big fan of Jeff Fahey as an actor, but he can be perfectly serviceable in the right role with the right filmmaker (White Hunter Black Heart, Planet Terror). In The Lawnmower Man, well, let's just say I bet he wishes this one wasn't on his resume. His performance in the first half of the film as simple Jobe, with his oversized overalls (with one strap always falling off), his messy blonde 5-year-old's hair and his goofy "Aww gee shucks Timmy" line delivery comes dangerously close to Tug Speedman's "Simple Jack" in Tropic Thunder.
I have nothing nice to say about this film. The story is silly. The performances are embarrassing. The special effects are overwhelmingly bad. There is not a single scene, moment or idea that generates any true interest. Not even the violence is fun.
Wait, there is one thing I liked: Jenny Wright (the cutie from Near Dark and I, Madman that I discussed a few posts ago) briefly shows her breasts. That part was worth watching.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
The Mist
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Finally got to check out the black and white version of The Mist, which I had thought was a cool idea. It's not a major revelation or anything, but I think it adds a little extra atmosphere here and there, and makes one of my favorite horror flicks of '07 just a little cooler. Any downside? It may make the violence a little less graphic/visceral, but I wouldn't be sure until I did a more direct comparison.
I'm not exactly a big proponent of b&w, but it seems a shame to me that it's not used more often. People just won't accept the style these days, which sucks. Lighting/shadows are so awesome in black and white that it's a perfect fit for horror and crime movies. Hell, so many movies these days have the color desaturated so much they might as well be in black and white. Instead, whenever someone does a major movie this way, it just comes off as a gimmick. Like, "Hey check it out, it's a black and white movie! They must be making some kind of statement." Instead of, you know, just using the medium for it's strengths.
Finally got to check out the black and white version of The Mist, which I had thought was a cool idea. It's not a major revelation or anything, but I think it adds a little extra atmosphere here and there, and makes one of my favorite horror flicks of '07 just a little cooler. Any downside? It may make the violence a little less graphic/visceral, but I wouldn't be sure until I did a more direct comparison.
I'm not exactly a big proponent of b&w, but it seems a shame to me that it's not used more often. People just won't accept the style these days, which sucks. Lighting/shadows are so awesome in black and white that it's a perfect fit for horror and crime movies. Hell, so many movies these days have the color desaturated so much they might as well be in black and white. Instead, whenever someone does a major movie this way, it just comes off as a gimmick. Like, "Hey check it out, it's a black and white movie! They must be making some kind of statement." Instead of, you know, just using the medium for it's strengths.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Dreamcatcher
Monday, March 18, 2008
OK, so there's a group of guys with psychic powers who meet out in the woods for a hunting trip every year, and they run into some sort of weird alien invasion where the aliens impregnate you with a virus and the new alien shoots out of your ass (after making you fart a lot) and it turns out that they got their psychic powers from a retarded kid when they were teenagers and there are extended flashbacks of this and then about 1/3 of the way into the movie a bunch of military guys lead by Morgan Freeman show up to fight the aliens which leads to a bunch of action scenes that don't have much to do with anything, and then one of the psychic guys' body is taken over by an alien with a british accent so he hides in a warehouse that exists only in his own mind and...
...This movie is a work of lunacy, and this is maybe my 3rd or 4th time seeing it and I still can't believe this much money was spent on a movie this strange. Definitely worth your time if you like this sort of stuff.
OK, so there's a group of guys with psychic powers who meet out in the woods for a hunting trip every year, and they run into some sort of weird alien invasion where the aliens impregnate you with a virus and the new alien shoots out of your ass (after making you fart a lot) and it turns out that they got their psychic powers from a retarded kid when they were teenagers and there are extended flashbacks of this and then about 1/3 of the way into the movie a bunch of military guys lead by Morgan Freeman show up to fight the aliens which leads to a bunch of action scenes that don't have much to do with anything, and then one of the psychic guys' body is taken over by an alien with a british accent so he hides in a warehouse that exists only in his own mind and...
...This movie is a work of lunacy, and this is maybe my 3rd or 4th time seeing it and I still can't believe this much money was spent on a movie this strange. Definitely worth your time if you like this sort of stuff.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Dead Zone
Sunday, January 20, 2008
This is the saddest movie ever adapted from a Stephen King book, and it has one of Christopher Walken's best performances. He plays a man who awakens from a 5 year coma to find his fiancee married to another man, his job gone, and his youth ended. He also wakes up with the ability to see into the future, but it proves more of a burden than a gift.
David Cronenberg directed this one, and even though it's one of his most mainstream, it's also one of my favorites of his. Of course, it's got his great visual style and sense of the macabre, and it's a pretty exciting genre film all around. Despite the fantastical premise, Cronenberg keeps it feeling grounded, real and serious. The only misstep (and I think what holds it back from being a great film) is with the subplot about a crazy politician who may one day destroy the world, because it's too silly compared to the rest of the movie. Martin Sheen's over-the-top performance as the politician doesn't help, although I suppose he did the best he could with weak material.
Like I said, it's an excellent genre film, but it's really the sadness and pathos that it achieves that make it stand out. I tend to admire Cronenberg for his fucked up visual imagination, but you got to give the guy credit for infusing many of his films with a strong emotional core. The Dead Zone has some real power, because of the tragedy Cronenberg and Walken express through the main character. What becomes clear is that things would be better for Walken's character if he never awoke from the coma. And the movie's "happy" ending can only be achieved with his death.
But if you're not into Cronenberg for his art, there's a sweet part where a guy commits suicide with a pair of scissors.
This is the saddest movie ever adapted from a Stephen King book, and it has one of Christopher Walken's best performances. He plays a man who awakens from a 5 year coma to find his fiancee married to another man, his job gone, and his youth ended. He also wakes up with the ability to see into the future, but it proves more of a burden than a gift.
David Cronenberg directed this one, and even though it's one of his most mainstream, it's also one of my favorites of his. Of course, it's got his great visual style and sense of the macabre, and it's a pretty exciting genre film all around. Despite the fantastical premise, Cronenberg keeps it feeling grounded, real and serious. The only misstep (and I think what holds it back from being a great film) is with the subplot about a crazy politician who may one day destroy the world, because it's too silly compared to the rest of the movie. Martin Sheen's over-the-top performance as the politician doesn't help, although I suppose he did the best he could with weak material.
Like I said, it's an excellent genre film, but it's really the sadness and pathos that it achieves that make it stand out. I tend to admire Cronenberg for his fucked up visual imagination, but you got to give the guy credit for infusing many of his films with a strong emotional core. The Dead Zone has some real power, because of the tragedy Cronenberg and Walken express through the main character. What becomes clear is that things would be better for Walken's character if he never awoke from the coma. And the movie's "happy" ending can only be achieved with his death.
But if you're not into Cronenberg for his art, there's a sweet part where a guy commits suicide with a pair of scissors.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Silver Bullet
Monday, January 14, 2008
I hadn't seen this one in years. Roger Ebert has a pretty good review where he says he's not sure if it's a terrible movie, or just really funny.
I know what he means, but I do think at least half of the comedy is intentional. And there are some cool werewolf scenes, even if the wolf costume looks bad. And a lot of good over the top performances, especially from Gary Busey, Everett McGill and whoever the hell plays the guy whose kid gets murdered.
This is gonna be a good one to put on drunk with friends late at night.
I hadn't seen this one in years. Roger Ebert has a pretty good review where he says he's not sure if it's a terrible movie, or just really funny.
I know what he means, but I do think at least half of the comedy is intentional. And there are some cool werewolf scenes, even if the wolf costume looks bad. And a lot of good over the top performances, especially from Gary Busey, Everett McGill and whoever the hell plays the guy whose kid gets murdered.
This is gonna be a good one to put on drunk with friends late at night.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Creepshow
Saturday, January 12, 2008
A really fun, minor-classic horror flick. One of George Romero's best. I've seen it many times. It is always a pleasure.
A really fun, minor-classic horror flick. One of George Romero's best. I've seen it many times. It is always a pleasure.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Graveyard Shift
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Just three days after watching an evil rats movie, here comes another one. This time, from the Stephen King set.
I remember the short story, and I remember liking it. I liked the movie, too. The story was a lot creepier, but the movie was fun. It's a good, not great, little monster movie with some cool makeup effects and whatnot. It didn't seem to have a very large budget or anything, but it looked nice, and I thought the evil rat king was pretty sweet. (Although I remember the story having a whole shitload of weird mutant rats... the movie only has this one, which is a missed opportunity for aweomeness).
The acting was also pretty good, for this type of affair. Straightforward, likeable characters vs. rats. Except the dude playing the villain, who goes really over-the-top, and not in a good way. More iin a stupid way. Which is a shame, because the movie already has Brad Dourif in a good over-the-top performance as a rat catcher. Which was enough, but this villain dude has to go and spoil everything.
Still, I liked it.
Just three days after watching an evil rats movie, here comes another one. This time, from the Stephen King set.
I remember the short story, and I remember liking it. I liked the movie, too. The story was a lot creepier, but the movie was fun. It's a good, not great, little monster movie with some cool makeup effects and whatnot. It didn't seem to have a very large budget or anything, but it looked nice, and I thought the evil rat king was pretty sweet. (Although I remember the story having a whole shitload of weird mutant rats... the movie only has this one, which is a missed opportunity for aweomeness).
The acting was also pretty good, for this type of affair. Straightforward, likeable characters vs. rats. Except the dude playing the villain, who goes really over-the-top, and not in a good way. More iin a stupid way. Which is a shame, because the movie already has Brad Dourif in a good over-the-top performance as a rat catcher. Which was enough, but this villain dude has to go and spoil everything.
Still, I liked it.
Pet Sematary
Monday, December 31, 2007
I picked up a cheap set of 4 Stephen King movies. Shenan and I watched this one New Year's Eve to kill time before the party.
Hadn't seen this one since I was a kid, and I vaguely remembered liking it. Turns out that it's pretty lame, even if it does have Tasha Yar and the guy from Time Trax.
A pretty mediocre effort, but with a few choice moments of gore. Also, there's a really (I think unintentionally) funny scene where two guys get into a fistfight at a funeral and knock the casket over.
This did bring up a childhood memory. When I was young, an older kid I knew made with his parents video camera some stupid Pet Sematary knockoff called, if I remember correctly, Sixth Cemetery. Don't ask me why one would want to imitate Pet Sematary, or whyone would think Sixth Cemetery was a good title. The best part, though, was that at the end, he just spliced in the end credits from Pet Sematary, complete with the Ramones' theme song. Except every time Joey sang the word "pet," this kid dubbed in himself saying "sixth."
That shit still makes me smile, like 15 years later.
I picked up a cheap set of 4 Stephen King movies. Shenan and I watched this one New Year's Eve to kill time before the party.
Hadn't seen this one since I was a kid, and I vaguely remembered liking it. Turns out that it's pretty lame, even if it does have Tasha Yar and the guy from Time Trax.
A pretty mediocre effort, but with a few choice moments of gore. Also, there's a really (I think unintentionally) funny scene where two guys get into a fistfight at a funeral and knock the casket over.
This did bring up a childhood memory. When I was young, an older kid I knew made with his parents video camera some stupid Pet Sematary knockoff called, if I remember correctly, Sixth Cemetery. Don't ask me why one would want to imitate Pet Sematary, or whyone would think Sixth Cemetery was a good title. The best part, though, was that at the end, he just spliced in the end credits from Pet Sematary, complete with the Ramones' theme song. Except every time Joey sang the word "pet," this kid dubbed in himself saying "sixth."
That shit still makes me smile, like 15 years later.
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