Monday, October 5, 2009

The Lawnmower Man

A frustrated scientist (Pierce Brosnan) developing a virtual reality program that somehow boosts intelligence begins using his retarded lawnmower man Jobe (Jeff Fahey) as a guinea pig. Things seem to be going great at first, as Jobe becomes somehow non-retarded and normal and attractive to women, but surprise surprise things go horribly wrong as Jobe develops frightening powers, becoming almost god-like, eventually going insane and trying to take over the world.

The Lawnmower Man is an unbelievably terrible movie that bears no resemblance to the not very good Stephen King short story it takes it's name from. Apparently the filmmakers took a pre-existing screenplay they had, and bought the rights to King's story so they could slap his name on their movie. King sued and had his name removed from the film. Awesome.

This film came out in 1992, and I must say, its antiquated misconceptions about the internet and its Sega Genesis quality CGI effects are rather hilarious when viewed today. Were people really falling for this shit a mere 17 years ago? We must have been a bunch of fucking savages back then.

I've never been a big fan of Jeff Fahey as an actor, but he can be perfectly serviceable in the right role with the right filmmaker (White Hunter Black Heart, Planet Terror). In The Lawnmower Man, well, let's just say I bet he wishes this one wasn't on his resume. His performance in the first half of the film as simple Jobe, with his oversized overalls (with one strap always falling off), his messy blonde 5-year-old's hair and his goofy "Aww gee shucks Timmy" line delivery comes dangerously close to Tug Speedman's "Simple Jack" in Tropic Thunder.

I have nothing nice to say about this film. The story is silly. The performances are embarrassing. The special effects are overwhelmingly bad. There is not a single scene, moment or idea that generates any true interest. Not even the violence is fun.

Wait, there is one thing I liked: Jenny Wright (the cutie from Near Dark and I, Madman that I discussed a few posts ago) briefly shows her breasts. That part was worth watching.


Shenan said...

You forgot the buck teeth!!! But yeah, Simple Jack is exactly what I thought of too. I used three exclamation points because it was so over-the-top and comical that I thought the movie was a really shitty comedy at first. Like, I knew logically it wasn't supposed to be, but I thought maybe, just maybe, somehow I'd been wrong in thinking that it was a horror/sci-fi flick.

Dan said...

It made me laugh, or at least chuckle, a lot in places. Might have been a fun one to watch while drinking with a group of friends.