Intermission: The Physical Challenge

We knew this wouldn't be a true endurance test unless we added a physical challenge. So, after Citizens On Patrol we went out front of my house, still filled with gin, Wendy's, and Bud Light, and resolved to run around my block as fast as we could.

Well, I should have guessed this, but this was a terrible fucking idea, and not even very funny. Patrick didn't have too much trouble other than complaining of tasting "gin and cheeseburger vomit" in his mouth, but I think one of my fucking lungs collapsed. Below, the challenge in pictures:

Here we are counting down to the run. For some reason, Patrick put on one of my mother's coats.

Shenan considers anything below 70 degrees to be intolerably cold, so she was not very happy with me making her wait outside for 5 minutes.

Hallelujah! Patrick prays to the heavens after beating me around the block by like 8 god damned hours. I didn't care so much that he made me look bad; at this point I was just hoping that I wouldn't vomit any blood.

You should click on this one to get a better look at my face. I don't believe I had run further than 20 feet at any given time during the past 10 years or so, so this pretty much murdered me. I think I burst into tears right after Shenan snapped this photo.

I kind of look like I'm desperately trying to flag down a helicopter or something, but I'm actually falling backwards onto my dad's car as my legs give out from under me. Patrick, meanwhile, is telling me he thinks he's going to vomit. Serves him right for running so much faster than me.

I thought this whole physical challenge thing was going to be a funny addition to the marathon. Instead, I spent the rest of the day with that expression on my face, which looks like it was skeeving Patrick out. I would also like to note that, judging from this picture, the run actually made me fatter.

And with that horrible idea out of the way, we followed through on a even worse idea: Watching Police Academy 5...