At this point, after the mediocrity of part 2, I was hoping that part 3 would at least be shitty in a non-boring way. And, actually, I kinda got my wish. Kinda.
I think I look like a child molester in this one.And Patrick looks like my biggest fan.
Gene Quintano. Remember the name, because as scribe of parts 3 and 4, I am convinced that he is the best writer in the series. Back in Training, while still a terrible film, is superior to Their First Assignment in almost every conceivable way. First, and I cannot stress this enough, it actually takes place at a police academy. Thank you, Mr. Quintano! Apparently it was too much fucking effort for whoever wrote part 2 (they suck so much I won't even look up their name) to actually work a police academy in the plot. I think maybe even the title was Quintano's way of saying "fuck you" to the premise of part 2.
So, to recap, if Police Academy was essentially Stripes in a Police Academy, then the sequels would be Stripes in a Police Academy 2: Stripes Not in a Police Academy and Stripes in a Police Academy 3: Stripes in a Police Academy 2. I think that should clear up any confusion and answer any of your questions.
I suspect that Quintano was a genuine fan of the series (or at least took his job seriously) because he brings back most of the characters from part 1 and the new ones from part 2, and retains elements of both films. It has a sort of hyper series-continuity like Ocean's 13 or Saw III that really makes it feel like a film done for the fans. Although I would never characterize myself as a fan of these movies, the nerd in me does appreciate this kind of shit.
So not only do Mauser and Proctor return, but so do the asshole underlings from part 1! I mean, I totally hate those dicks and they aren't funny, but isn't it cool to see them all in the same movie? It reminds you that there were other movies, you know, "hey look that's the guy from etc etc." The major characters are back, but so are folks like Callahan and real Lassard (for some reason his brother was in part 2). Clumsy guy comes back and is terrible again, but in another weird fan shout-out, he has a scene that mirrors his first scene in part one. In part one, his wife tried to stop him from leaving for the academy and she jumped on the roof of the car while he's driving. Here, he does the same thing while she's driving. This time though, she sort of crashes the car and he goes flying off, you don't see him again for the rest of the film and I was hoping maybe he died. (When he didn't show up in part 4 I got really excited, but it wasn't to be...)
In fact, Quintano loves Police Academy so much that he pretty much just rehashes the entire plot of the first movie. It's just about a group of wacky recruits, with the old recruits now as instructors. And all the new recruits are basically just carbon copies of older PA characters. This is the real missed opportunity here... the new recruits could have added some fresh energy to the series. Instead, they are completely forgettable and I don't even think show up in any of the sequels.
Quintano (I'm pretty much going to attribute every artistic choice in this film to him) really strains to work Bobcat Goldthwait back into the movie. So for no discernible reason, his character Zed is now reformed and joins the force. He's still a weirdo, which is good, but for some fucking reason that asshole Quintano pairs him up with Sweet Chuck. ARG! Fucking Sweet Chuck! The Zed/Sweet Chuck combo must have tested well with audiences because they spend the whole movie together, preventing Zed from having any moments of transcendent out-of-place-ness.
In Mandatory Mahoney News (he is the main character, so I feel obligated to bring him up), his role still feels like little more than a cameo that everyone pretends is the lead. I like to imagine Steve Guttenburg had nothing but seething rage for the series, but was also a big sellout (Mahoney style, exactly why he's perfect for the role) and couldn't turn down the money. I imagine him staring at the check they cut for him, blind with rage, smashing shit in his apartment, maybe masturbating in anger... I don't know, that's just what I imagine. Forget I mentioned it. Any way, I guess Mahoney feels a little less like a bumbling moron in this one and slightly more like the free spirit he was supposed to be in the first one. He actually chases some poon this time, which is a plus. He's still a fucking sellout pig, though.
Another good series reference is when a random hobo bad guy from part one shows up for no reason, still wearing the same Vassar T-Shirt he had before. Again, a little moment just for fans. There's another Blue Oyster joke, which I was really hoping they would drop, but I'll give Quintano credit for kicking it up a notch this time. Not only does he contrive a way for Proctor to stumble into the gay bar, but he contrives a way for him to be naked while he does so. Check and mate, Quintano, my friend.
Either in this one or maybe part 2, they introduce the fact that Jones is some sort of kung-fu master, and he does this cool thing where he talks but moves his mouth in such a manner that makes it look like he's being dubbed. Even better, though, is that he apparently has super powers. While fighting, he just starts flying through the air or doing flips and jumps that are physically impossible. No explaination is given for his powers, which is exactly how we love it.
Judging from our notes, we had our first laugh 1 hour and 5 minutes in. I honestly do not recall what that was.
This one, again, has no real plot until the final 15 minutes or so. Wait, actually, it's better than that. For 90% of the movie, the plot (sort of) revolves around the possible closing down of the police academy. They have to contend with a rival academy, and the loser will be shut down. So you get all hyped up for some sort of 80's summer camp movie conclusion where the good cops face off with the bad cops, probably in an athletic competition. You know, and they will totally get their asses kicked at first, and maybe the bad cops will be cheaters, but then the cop cops will use their one personality trait to win, or they will also cheat but in a funny way so that it's excused. But instead, in the last 10 minutes they throw that out the window and have an out-of-the-blue jet-ski themed action scene. It has such a disregard for everything that came before that I wanted to applaud.
Police Academy 3: Owned.
So, to recap, if Police Academy was essentially Stripes in a Police Academy, then the sequels would be Stripes in a Police Academy 2: Stripes Not in a Police Academy and Stripes in a Police Academy 3: Stripes in a Police Academy 2. I think that should clear up any confusion and answer any of your questions.
I suspect that Quintano was a genuine fan of the series (or at least took his job seriously) because he brings back most of the characters from part 1 and the new ones from part 2, and retains elements of both films. It has a sort of hyper series-continuity like Ocean's 13 or Saw III that really makes it feel like a film done for the fans. Although I would never characterize myself as a fan of these movies, the nerd in me does appreciate this kind of shit.
So not only do Mauser and Proctor return, but so do the asshole underlings from part 1! I mean, I totally hate those dicks and they aren't funny, but isn't it cool to see them all in the same movie? It reminds you that there were other movies, you know, "hey look that's the guy from etc etc." The major characters are back, but so are folks like Callahan and real Lassard (for some reason his brother was in part 2). Clumsy guy comes back and is terrible again, but in another weird fan shout-out, he has a scene that mirrors his first scene in part one. In part one, his wife tried to stop him from leaving for the academy and she jumped on the roof of the car while he's driving. Here, he does the same thing while she's driving. This time though, she sort of crashes the car and he goes flying off, you don't see him again for the rest of the film and I was hoping maybe he died. (When he didn't show up in part 4 I got really excited, but it wasn't to be...)
In fact, Quintano loves Police Academy so much that he pretty much just rehashes the entire plot of the first movie. It's just about a group of wacky recruits, with the old recruits now as instructors. And all the new recruits are basically just carbon copies of older PA characters. This is the real missed opportunity here... the new recruits could have added some fresh energy to the series. Instead, they are completely forgettable and I don't even think show up in any of the sequels.
Quintano (I'm pretty much going to attribute every artistic choice in this film to him) really strains to work Bobcat Goldthwait back into the movie. So for no discernible reason, his character Zed is now reformed and joins the force. He's still a weirdo, which is good, but for some fucking reason that asshole Quintano pairs him up with Sweet Chuck. ARG! Fucking Sweet Chuck! The Zed/Sweet Chuck combo must have tested well with audiences because they spend the whole movie together, preventing Zed from having any moments of transcendent out-of-place-ness.
In Mandatory Mahoney News (he is the main character, so I feel obligated to bring him up), his role still feels like little more than a cameo that everyone pretends is the lead. I like to imagine Steve Guttenburg had nothing but seething rage for the series, but was also a big sellout (Mahoney style, exactly why he's perfect for the role) and couldn't turn down the money. I imagine him staring at the check they cut for him, blind with rage, smashing shit in his apartment, maybe masturbating in anger... I don't know, that's just what I imagine. Forget I mentioned it. Any way, I guess Mahoney feels a little less like a bumbling moron in this one and slightly more like the free spirit he was supposed to be in the first one. He actually chases some poon this time, which is a plus. He's still a fucking sellout pig, though.
Another good series reference is when a random hobo bad guy from part one shows up for no reason, still wearing the same Vassar T-Shirt he had before. Again, a little moment just for fans. There's another Blue Oyster joke, which I was really hoping they would drop, but I'll give Quintano credit for kicking it up a notch this time. Not only does he contrive a way for Proctor to stumble into the gay bar, but he contrives a way for him to be naked while he does so. Check and mate, Quintano, my friend.
Either in this one or maybe part 2, they introduce the fact that Jones is some sort of kung-fu master, and he does this cool thing where he talks but moves his mouth in such a manner that makes it look like he's being dubbed. Even better, though, is that he apparently has super powers. While fighting, he just starts flying through the air or doing flips and jumps that are physically impossible. No explaination is given for his powers, which is exactly how we love it.
Judging from our notes, we had our first laugh 1 hour and 5 minutes in. I honestly do not recall what that was.
This one, again, has no real plot until the final 15 minutes or so. Wait, actually, it's better than that. For 90% of the movie, the plot (sort of) revolves around the possible closing down of the police academy. They have to contend with a rival academy, and the loser will be shut down. So you get all hyped up for some sort of 80's summer camp movie conclusion where the good cops face off with the bad cops, probably in an athletic competition. You know, and they will totally get their asses kicked at first, and maybe the bad cops will be cheaters, but then the cop cops will use their one personality trait to win, or they will also cheat but in a funny way so that it's excused. But instead, in the last 10 minutes they throw that out the window and have an out-of-the-blue jet-ski themed action scene. It has such a disregard for everything that came before that I wanted to applaud.
Police Academy 3: Owned.For our wrap up, I think we mainly agreed that Sweet Chuck had to go NOW. We would not be so lucky. (That sort of became the mantra of this whole experiment). We thought the out-of-the-blue ending was pretty hilariously bad, so we wanted that to stay. We wanted more superpowers for Jones, and more weirdness and surrealism in general. Heading into part 4, I thought maybe the series was hitting it's stride...
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